


Mrs Schmitt-isms

by SimonsEroticFriendFiction



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Neighbors, Clizzy mention, Fluff, Jalec mention, M/M, its all fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-22
Updated: 2016-08-22
Packaged: 2018-08-10 06:46:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7834423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SimonsEroticFriendFiction/pseuds/SimonsEroticFriendFiction
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You knocked furiously on my door to tell me to stop having such loud sex but when I come to the door fully clothed we're both horrified that it's the old lady upstairs...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Mrs Schmitt-isms

**Author's Note:**

> This is from a prompt from ShittyAUs on tumblr. Find them, their AUs aren't shitty at all :)  
> Neighbour AU  
> You knocked furiously on my door to tell me to stop having such loud sex but when I come to the door fully clothed we're both horrified that it's the old lady upstairs...
> 
> This obviously is based around sex but the boys don't have any until after the line "Six weeks later" so if that's not your cup of tea the story comes to a natural conclusion before then.

"Oh... oh, yes!"

"You like that baby?"

"Yes, yes... harder, oh, you bad boy."

Magnus cringed as he turned the sound up on the TV again but still the noise of his neighbour's girlfriend came booming through the wall. He rolled his eyes. This was the third time this week the guy was having such loud sex he could barely think and he'd had enough. Sure, when Camille was still around they weren't the quietest but at least they were always considerate to the paper thin walls in their block. This just took the piss.

"Suppose it's just my luck," Magnus thought. "Falling for the unbelievably hot straight guy next door." He'd hoped for a while that Alec might be interested. For example he'd only ever seen one woman anywhere near his apartment that didn't look related to him, and even then she often left in the arms of a curvy brunette who looked a lot like his sister. But then again he barely knew anything about him, they'd barely shared any conversation besides introductions and pleasantries in the hall. He'd had hoped that Alec was single by the way he always smiled at him when he said hello in the corridor, the way he always giggled and adjusted his glasses when Magnus complimented his appearance and the way Alec would fidget with his fingers every time they shared the lift. But the sounds coming from his apartment just killed that hope dead.

"Yes, yes... baby you're so big."

Magnus cringed again, face scrunching up out of embarrassment. He sighed with exasperation as the noises got impossibly louder and got up switching off the TV in indignation. He threw his shark slippers on and marched out of his apartment. Within seconds he was rapping loudly and angrily on Alec's door yelling his name. The sex noises continued as he was faced with a very surprised Alec fully dressed in a baggy, black, faded sweater, tight black leggings with white stripes up the sides and black rimmed glasses perched on his sweaty face. 

"Yes?" 

Well, this was an odd turn of events. The moaning hadn't stopped as Alec stood in the doorway, there was no way it could be him. Shit.

"Um," Magnus stuttered. "I'm so sorry to disturb you but..." He fiddled with his fingers as he realised his mistake. "I thought it was you and your girlfriend having that loud sex." For the first time in all their hallway encounters, it was Magnus' turn to turn bright red. He must have looked a right sight, he'd removed all his make up for the night and was just dressed in his grey sweats, slippers that made it look like sharks were eating his feet and a white vest that said "It ain't no lie baby, bi bi bi" on it in pink, purple and blue. 

Fortunately, Alec wasn't put off by his apearence and laughed saying, "It's OK, I thought it was you!"

Magnus smiled and sighed incredulously. "Well, if it's neither of us and it's this loud it could only be coming from upstairs."

Alec's face fell with confusion. "But only Mrs Schmitt lives upstairs."

Both men turned their faces towards the ceiling as the moaning of what they now knew to be their elderly neighbour, continued.

"Oh God no." Magnus said as he snapped his head back to Alec.

Alec groaned and rubbed his eyes. "I need to flush my ears out with holy water."

Magnus' face contorted with anguish. "I feed her cats! I'll never be able to look her in the eyes again!"

Alec giggled as he brought his hands away from his face and said, "Plus, I'm gay anyway, you won't see a girl round here."

Magnus' expression melted into confusion which slowly gave way to one of surprise. "Really? Half this block thinks you're banging that redhead who comes and goes at all hours."

This time it was Alec's turn to look disgusted. "Clary? Ew. No way. Sorry but... just ew. I mean, she's lovely, she's my sister's girlfriend, but me and her?" He shuddered. "Ew." 

As Magnus chuckled, smug with this new information, Alec started again. "Listen, I've just got back from my run and I was going to have some coffee, do you maybe want to come in, put on some loud music and pretend this," He gestured all around, bringing Magnus' attention back to the sex noises, "Isn't happening?"

Magnus beamed at the taller man's suggestion and nodded before following him inside. Alec's apartment was neat and tidy, a mirror image to Magnus' in layout but the opposite end of the stick in terms of cleanliness. Alec gestured for Magnus to sit at the breakfast bar as he docked his ipod and put on music Magnus recognised but couldn't remember the name of. As he switched the kettle on he noticed Magnus squinting at the ipod and said, "It's the Smiths. They can be pretty depressing sometimes, thought it would be a boner killer for whoever else is upstairs."

Magnus giggled again. "Good." He stated, and Alec laughed in turn. "Tell me then," Magnus said, making himself comfy, "Why does Clary come round at such a late hour?"

"She works odd hours. She's a barista by day and an artist by night so she comes to me whenever she's stuck for ideas and everyone else is in bed. Me, I've always got a mountain of marking to do, so I always seem to be up." 

As Alec spooned out the coffee and poured on the water Magnus replied, "Oh, you're a teacher?" 

"Yeah, I teach English over at Institute High. The pays crap but I enjoy it. Milk?" Alec asked, hand on the fridge handle. Magnus nodded and Alec opened the fridge and bent down to grab the milk giving Magnus a front seat view to his fantastic ass. Those leggings clung to every curve perfectly and Magnus found himself moaning internally. It was so long since he'd been with a guy.

Turns out the moan wasn't quite so internal, as Alec quickly straightened up and faced Magnus with a, "What was that?"

Magnus blushed for the second time that night (seriously, what was with him?) and muttered, "Nothing." 

Alec poured the milk in the coffees and handed one over sitting down with his at the other side of the breakfast bar. "So, what do you do?" He said, taking a sip.

The blush faded from Magnus' cheeks as he excitedly told Alec he owned a local nightclub, Pandemonium. 

"That's really cool, unfortunately I'm not the nightclub type." Alec said nervously, stroking the handle on his mug. 

"That's Ok," Magnus responded, "I have a VIP area that caters for all types." He tried to catch Alec's eyes with his smile putting him more at ease. 

The plan worked as Alec smiled in return before gesturing to Magnus' vest. "I like your top, where did you get it?"

Magnus finished his sip of coffee before looking down and realising just what top he was wearing. "Ah, this sexy little number?" He said wiggling his shoulders making Alec laugh. "Last Pride, when I was still bitter about my break up and never wanted to see another woman again."

"Oh." Alec said softly, blowing on his coffee and taking a large gulp. "Do you mind me asking what happened?"

Magnus' face hardened slightly as he took in a breath. "She cheated on me. Never loved me then had the audacity to tell me that her cheating didn't matter cus all bisexuals are cheats anyway."

Alec looked surprised as Magnus looked back up from his coffee. "Oh my God. The bitch!" 

Magnus let out the breath he'd been holding. "I know. I'm just glad it's over now, what I felt for her is literally ancient history."

Alec smiled. "That's good, we don't need biphobic and homophobic assholes in our lives."

Magnus joined him in his smile. "We don't. So... are you seeing anyone right now?"

"There's no one." Alec shrugged. "I mean, I haven't had a serious relationship since college." Alec noticed Magnus' eyes turn apologetic and he said, "It's OK, his name was Jace, he was my best friend before and he's my best friend still even now there's no feelings there anymore."

Magnus took a deep swig of coffee and said, "Look, I know this might be a little forward, but I don't suppose you'd want to get a drink sometime?"

Alec's eyes lit up and cheeks flushed red. He could barely contain his smile as he said, "Yeah, I'd like that." 

Magnus' hand slid across the table, prised Alec's off his coffee mug and gripped it tight. "It's a date. And to think, all it took to bring us together was Mrs Schmitt's sex life."

Both men broke down laughing as the final climactic scream came from upstairs.

Six weeks later...

"Oh, yes, harder you bad boy!"

"Alexander if you ever repeat another Mrs Schmitt-ism while I'm inside you you'll be having sex by yourself!" 

Alec laughed as Magnus pounded him harder into the mattress. Mrs Schmitt had been going at it multiple times a week since their first encounter and tonight they were finally getting their own back. 

"Oh, Magnus... I'm cumming." Alec whimpered as he scratched his nails down his boyfriend's back. 

Magnus' hips stuttered against his boyfriend as both men screamed their way through their orgasm. It was only when they collapsed against each other did they hear angry knocking at their door. 

"EXCUSE ME BUT CAN YOU PLEASE HAVE SOME COMMON DECENCY AND KEEP IT DOWN!"

They looked each other in the eye before giggling and shouting in tandem, "Sorry Mrs Schmitt!"


End file.
